


Better Left Unsaid

by postboxinheaven



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Skating, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance, baekhyun is a figure skater tho, this is barely about skating tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 05:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14050137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postboxinheaven/pseuds/postboxinheaven
Summary: Baekhyun has spent his entire life skating his way to the top, but right now all he wants to do is fall.





	Better Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> This is the OG Skating AU that isn’t even really a Skating AU bc no one is really skating. I serially misuse commas in my free time (it is my fatal flaw). I’m hoping that if I pretend that the plot holes in this don’t exist, they’ll just go away (the timeline in this fic makes no sense). This fic has no connection to the other skating fic I wrote other than the fact that they are both about Skating in some way.

**** When Baekhyun’s eyes flutter open, the first thing he notices is a dull pain in his left foot. Soon after, he hears the frantic voice of his coach arguing with a man in a white coat.

“Impossible. He can’t take that much time off. Worlds are coming up soon and he just finalized his routine for this season. It’s going to take months of practice to perfect.”

“Donghae this is a re-injury. There is no way I’m letting you guys risk this. If you don’t give up this season, you might be giving up the rest of his career. If he does what I say and recovers fully, he has just as good of a shot at the Olympics as he had before the accident.”

Baekhyun hears Donghae sigh in frustration.

“Trust me on this one. I promise you that it’ll get better.” Baekhyun clears his throat lightly.

“Baekhyun, you’re awake,” Donghae and Dr. Choi chorus.

“You concussed after your fall but you’re going to be okay.” Dr. Choi forces a smile at him. “Your ankle on the other hand…”

“It’s reinjured isn’t it?” Baekhyun intones. “How long are you expecting me to be out?”

“Well, it’ll be around a month and a half to get you out of the cast. Maybe two until you’re walking properly again. Then another three months of therapy after that to make sure you’re in perfect shape before you start skating again,” Dr. Choi pauses to gauge Baekhyun’s reaction. “We wouldn’t want you to risk a permanent injury, so this will be the best option for you.

“In addition, I seriously recommend that you don’t go near the rink until your therapy is complete. An athlete's temptation tends to be very strong, and dangerous,” he continues tentatively.

Baekhyun schools his expression into indifference, “If that’s what it’s going to take, then I guess that’s what we’ll have to do.” Baekhyun pauses before sighing and adding, “Could I have a couple minutes alone if that’s possible?”

He stares meaningfully at Dr. Choi and a perturbed looking Donghae until they obediently shuffle out of the room.

The minute the door slides shut behind them Baekhyun’s face breaks into a grin and exhales in relief.  _ It’s about fucking time _ .

Baekhyun can’t remember a time in his life when he wasn’t skating. Since the age of 6, when he started lessons at the local rink, Baekhyun has been working his ass off to get to the top of the skating world. Most of his memories were made on ice and truthfully he was starting to get sick of it.

He’s sick of being a celebrity. He’s sick of practicing all the time and not having a minute to himself. Baekhyun has been very much in need of a break for quite a while. He can’t help but think that this ankle injury came at the perfect time in his life. A time when he was so close to burning out.

In the past, Baekhyun has never been brave enough to take a break. The fear of losing his competitive edge in a sport where there are always at least 15 qualified people willing to take his place was enough to keep him going without hitting the brake pedals even once. This was his chance, and Baekhyun was going to take it no matter what anyone said.

\----

“Hiatus,” Baekhyun’s PR agent Zitao seems on the borderline of a meltdown. “You want to take a hiatus.”

  
  


“Maybe you should rethink this Baekhyun. You have magazines calling you nonstop and CFs lined up around the curb. Even the movie industry is asking for you. SM Entertainment has been asking if you would feature on EXO’s new album. They are the most relevant boy group in the industry right now. You can’t give that all up,” Donghae rambles.

“I can and I will,” Baekhyun responds nonchalantly, flipping through the magazine he found on the side table. He momentarily wonders why the hell anyone would be asking him to sing. Even twenty layers of auto tune wouldn't be able to salvage the mess that was his voice. “I’m supposed to be recovering anyways. Cancel everything; I want to take a break. A real one.”

Donghae and Zitao are at a loss for words.

“I can’t even deal with this.” Zitao starts breathing heavily. Baekhyun gives him an apologetic smile and unsteadily rises from the chair with his crutches.

“Text me if you want to reach me. I’m won’t be picking up my phone to take calls,” he calls over his shoulder as he hobbles away, feeling liberated as soon as he steps outside and the cool fall air hits his cheeks. It’s going to be a good five months.

\----

Baekhyun jolts awake at 2:00 PM the next day. Freaking out, he flails around attempting to get out of bed until he feels the weight of a cast on his foot, realizing that he has no practice to go to. He slowly makes his way out of bed, reveling in the fact that he can actually take his time to do things. He cooks himself some bacon and eggs while belting out the latest SNSD song on the top of his lungs. Finally, he settles in front of his TV for the first time in a while.

Flipping through the channels, Baekhyun slowly realizes that it is, after all, a Wednesday afternoon and the programming is catered to old people. If it wasn’t a crazy soap opera, it was daytime news, which happened to be extensively covering the mysterious injury of the South Korean Skating King Byun Baekhyun. Some of the reports were so ridiculously off that Baekhyun was almost tempted to call them and personally steer them in the right direction. According to NDTV, Baekhyun was a single dad with a wrist injury that he got from partying too hard.

Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun gets up and finds other things to do. No matter where he looks, all he can see is tokens of his career. Trophies and medals were in cases everywhere, and Baekhyun can’t even remember when his entire closet turned into a sports lux catalogue. Everywhere he looks, his fancy apartment has nothing but figure skating written all over it. He quickly realizes that he’s never going to be able to escape his life if he stays in this place. Ten minutes later, with his Mac in one hand and iPhone in another, Baekhyun begins hunting. Today he’s going to find a new apartment.

\----

“JONGIN I TOLD YOU 5 TIMES THAT BOX GOES IN MY ROOM,” Baekhyun screeches.

“Hyung, calm down I’ll put it there. Give me a second.” Jongin shoots him a peeved glare. For the last three hours, Baekhyun took it upon himself to order around his pack mules, Jongin and Sehun, until his new apartment is perfectly organized to his refined tastes.

After realizing that most of the things he owns are skating related, he did an unhealthy amount of online shopping and had new sets of furniture, house ware, and a complete non-athletic wardrobe delivered to his new home. The only thing he brought with him was a massive home entertainment collection, which he was currently observing Sehun unpack.

“Make sure to put those in order Sehun. Genre then alphabetical,” Baekhyun reminded him.

“Why the hell do you have so many DVDs?” Sehun huffs. “Nobody uses DVDs anymore. Have you heard of Netflix?”

“Doesn’t Netflix just mail you DVDs? I might as well own them…” Baekhyun defends. Sehun and Jongin stare at him in awe for a couple seconds before going back to their work.

“You might as well have been buried underground for the last 5 years. You probably don’t even know what EDM is,” Jongin sighs, giving Baekhyun a pitying look.

“Oh, just shut up and put that box away or I’ll hit you with my crutch.” He waves his crutch threateningly at Jongin, who then scurries quickly into Baekhyun’s new bedroom. Anyways, it’s not his fault that he wasn’t up to date with the latest pop culture. He’s been busy.

Jongin and Sehun leave a few hours later, after patiently carrying out each and every one of his requests. Before leaving however, they scribble a sizable list of things for Baekhyun to research while simultaneously inhaling cheap ramen that Baekhyun hasn’t been allowed to eat in years.

“You need to catch up on all of this before you can be relevant again. You can’t live in the real world without knowing what these things are, or people will just laugh at you,” Sehun had said with his mouth full. And as demeaning as it was to have to take advice from people he considers to be infant toddlers, he figures it would be for the best. It’s not like he had anything else to do anyways. Baekhyun lets himself be subjected to the torture of watching clips and music videos of the “hottest boy band ever”, according to Sehun, EXO.

“That one is my favorite,” Sehun dreamily points out a doe eyed blond boy. “Remember his face, he’s going to be my husband someday.”

A few hours later, Baekhyun’s eyes start to burn from watching Game of Thrones for too long. He hobbles over to his bathroom and washes his face. Staring at himself in the mirror, Baekhyun smiles at how different he looks. He dyed his hair back to his natural black, ditched his contacts for a pair of geek chic glasses, and skipped the makeup. It almost reminds himself of when he was 16, before he got popular and started skating in the spotlight.

Baekhyun decides he likes this face better. Maybe he’ll stick with the look.

\----

“Sehun pleaseeee?” Baekhyun whines into the phone with all the cuteness he can muster up. “I’m bored.”

Baekhyun can almost hear Sehun shuddering in disgust on the other end of the line. “I have class till 6 today and soccer practice afterward. Maybe sometime this weekend?”

Sehun sounds slightly guilty, which in turn makes Baekhyun feel guilty himself. “No it’s fine, I know you’re busy. Call me when you’re free?”

“Sure! Meanwhile you can keep binging on GoT so we can talk about it later!” Sehun exclaims with fervor, all traces of guilt now missing.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll get around to it” Baekhyun chuckles before hanging up. He hobbles over to the couch with his breakfast and turns the TV on to a cooking show.

“Damn, those look good…” Baekhyun stares at the TV mouth slightly open. He glances down at the messy omelet he threw together himself this morning and back up at the crisp green onion pancakes on the screen in front of him and immediately lunges for his phone.

“What?” Jongin mumbles, voice laced with sleep.

“Say, Jongin, how do you feel about getting pajeon for breakfast this morning? It’ll be a party”

“Sleep is the most important meal of the day,” Jongin incoherently mumbles again.

“It’s 11:30 don’t you have places be? Things to do? People to see? People like figure skating king Baekhyun?” Baekhyun pleads.

“I don’t have class till 3:30 today so there’s no way in hell I’m getting out of bed before 3:15” Jongin sighs. “Go find someone else to be alive with at this ungodly hour.”

“You live 20 minutes off of campus? How do you get to class on time?” Baekhyun wonders out loud.

“You learn to adjust to the demands of life, okay? Now if we’re done here, goodnight.” Jongin hangs up on him.

“That little bitch,” Baekhyun seethes. Of course it’s his bad luck that both of his closest friends decided to go to summer school to be able to graduate early. Sehun and Jongin might be stupid little kids to him, but in reality they were pretty smart. He tries to think of people he knows that don’t have a life, much like him at the moment.  _ Bingo _ , he thinks as he pulls out his phone again.

“Ayy whaddup mah man Jongdaeee?”

“Baekhyun it’s only 11:30 how the fuck are you already drunk?” Jongdae sounds seriously concerned. “I know skating means a lot to you, but trust me you’ll be better in no time. Don’t drink during daytime hours.”

“I’m not drunk, you idiot. I am, however, bored as fuck. What do 21 year olds with no job do? I figured you would know” Baekhyun snickers.

  
  


“Well, fuck you too. On the contrary, I’m working a part time this summer for some extra cash to spend when I go the bars,” Jongdae boasts. “Which, by the way, is one thing that average 21 year olds do. Although, you are broken at the moment, so I’m not so sure how that’ll work out for you. They also eat junk food and play video games.”

“I can’t eat junk food, it’ll be too much work to get back in shape after therapy, and playing video games alone is lame.” Baekhyun is already regretting buying that value pack of ramen at the grocery store earlier this week. It’s already more than half finished.

“Doing anything alone is lame. Your existence is lame,” Jongdae bites back for his earlier comment.

“I’m pouting right now. If you saw me, you would feel guilty as hell,” Baekhyun complains. “Can you be my friend today? I swear to god, I’m bored out of my mind.”

If Baekhyun had any pride when it came to Jongdae, he lost it a long time ago. They’ve done enough stupid shit when they were younger to have no shame when it comes to asking one another for a favor.

“Sorry man, I’d love to, but I’m working today. I’ll hit you up tomorrow though?” Jongdae apologizes. “Rest today and we’ll go hard tomorrow. I can take you to this tricked out restaurant slash bar in Hongdae, it’ll be fucking awesome. You won’t have to move too much either.”

“As long as I don’t have to take care of your drunk ass at the end of the night” Baekhyun has had the experience of taking care of drunk Jongdae a few times before his career picked up. He’d rather not do it again, to say the least.

“I wouldn’t do that to you. We can bring Sehun and Jongin along and they can do it instead,” Jongdae laughs.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and hangs up after discussing their plans for a few more minutes. He lazes around on his couch for another hour or so before he decides that being inside for longer would probably be detrimental to his mental health. Grabbing his crutches and his wallet, he high tails out of his apartment with no idea of where he’s going.

Baekhyun waits at the elevator patiently. A few moments later he feels someone stroll up behind him. Baekhyun knows that the polite thing to do would be to turn around and greet his neighbor, however, he just stares straight ahead silently instead. Baekhyun hasn’t been in anything remotely similar to a normal social situation in a few years, and the idea of talking to strangers freaks him out more than a little.

The elevator doors open and Baekhyun slowly hobbles in, stranger behind him. He’s about to turn around and face the front when he somehow manages to trip over his own crutch and almost face plant onto the elevator floor. Thankfully, he feels two strong, warm, arms wrap around his torso, catching him before he can do any more damage to his already injured body. The arms haul him up into an upright position again, and Baekhyun turns around to thank the guy behind him. He briefly makes eye contact and mumbles a “thank you” before he freezes completely.

A thousand thoughts run through his head as he stays frozen in his place, half turned towards the man.  _ It can’t be _ . Baekhyun takes another peek to see the face of the man, only to find him equally surprised.

_ No way _ . Baekhyun’s heart starts pounding in nervousness.  _ No fucking way _ .

Baekhyun opens his mouth to confirm his shock, but before he can get a word out he hears the other man speak first.

“Baekhyun” He croaks. “It’s really you.”

\----

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun breathes out in shock.

“Wow,” Chanyeol says equally awed.

“You’re Chanyeol,” Baekhyun repeats dumbly, to which Chanyeol lets out a little chuckle.

“That would be my name, yes,” Chanyeol responds with his kind voice that was always laced with a bit of arrogance.  _ It’s exactly the same _ , Baekhyun thinks to himself.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol continues, looking concerned. “I read about your injury in the news, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because you slipped on your spilled glass of rum at a club.”

“Well the media has always been imaginative, hasn’t it?” Baekhyun awkwardly laughs. He feels a little pang in his heart at the thought of Chanyeol reading about his life in the news. He was definitely lying to himself a few seconds ago, because nothing is the same at all. “I’m fine, the injury should heal completely and I’ll be back to normal in no time at all.”

Baekhyun sees something flit across Chanyeol’s eyes, but can’t figure out what it is.

“Well I’m glad to hear that,” Chanyeol responds genuinely. “I almost asked Jongdae for your phone number so I check on you but…”

_ But what, Chanyeol?  _ Baekhyun keeps his thoughts to himself again because he can’t dare to say them out loud. He knows better than to ask questions when the answers might just hurt him all over again. Just like they did five years ago. They fall into an awkward silence for a few seconds, and Baekhyun starts to wonder how long it could possibly take to go down 20 floors.

“Oh, we never pressed the button,” Chanyeol laughs and proceeds to do so. “Ground floor right?” Baekhyun nods.

“So what are you doing in this building anyways?” Chanyeol fills the empty elevator with chatter.

“Oh, uh I actually moved here yesterday. I thought it would be good to have a change of scenery while I’m going through recovery and all,” Baekhyun responds.

“Oh really? I live here too. What unit?” Chanyeol asks.

“336.”

“Wait, really?” Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot up. “So you’re the new person who moved into Hyukdi's unit?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, confused.

“I live in 335. Right next door to you actually,” Chanyeol tentatively shares.

“Oh.” That’s all Baekhyun can manage to let out in his shock. Thankfully a moment later the elevator doors open and the two of them step out. Baekhyun doesn’t know what else to say as the walk towards the entrance of their apartment building together.

“Well I’m going this way,” Chanyeol says as they step outside. He takes a few steps to the left.

“Well I’ll see you later then I guess.”

Chanyeol’s shoulders relax a tiny bit. It would have been hard to catch, but reality is that Baekhyun can still read him like an open book. He’s probably the only person who can. Baekhyun turns in the other direction and hobbles away without looking back.

Baekhyun finds himself in a coffee shop 20 minutes later frantically calling Jongdae.

“Ugh, what do you want I just got off of work and I’m tired,” Jongdae whines.

“Chanyeol is my new next-door neighbor help me sell this apartment oh my god Jongdae what should I do this is not what I wanted and-” Baekhyun rambles.

“Baekhyun stop. BREATHE,” Jongdae attempts to calm him down, sounding shocked himself. Baekhyun takes a few deep breaths and sighs. “Okay where are you right now? I will come to you and we can talk about this.”

“Cafe Fleur in Apgujeong,” Baekhyun’s exhales in relief. “Thank you,” he shakily adds.

“No need, I’m coming for selfish reasons. This is the juiciest gossip I’ve heard in months.”

It takes another 15 minutes for Jongdae to walk into the cafe and drop into the seat across from him.

“Explain.” Jongdae has always been straight to the point. “Remember to breathe in between,” he adds on afterthought.

“So I was bored and thought I would hobble around near my apartment building to see what there was to do in the area but I walked into the elevator and tripped over my crutch and he caught me but he was Chanyeol and-”

“Baekhyun remember what I said about breathing?” Jongdae reiterates, looking exasperated.

“All these years later and we see each other and he pretends like nothing ever happened. He was making small talk with me, Jongdae. Small talk.” Baekhyun closes his eyes. “Chanyeol and I don’t do small talk. We never have.”

“And?” Jongdae prompts.

“He pretended like nothing happened. Like he didn’t completely disappear for five years,” Baekhyun softly lets out. “He also looked like he would rather be anywhere but near me.”

A thought flits into his mind.

“He said he wanted to call you to get my phone number but apparently he decided against it.” Baekhyun looks up at Jongdae curiously. “Do you still talk to him? You never told me you did.”

“I don’t.” Jongdae lets out a long even breath. “Well, very rarely and even then it’s pretty brief. I know he’s still in touch with Kyungsoo,” he pauses. “How are you, though?”

“As good as anyone can be after seeing their best friend who also happens to be the person they’ve been in love with since age 14. After five fucking years of nothing.”

“Wow,” Jongdae responds. “Still?”

“Well, I haven't had much to move on to after that. So yeah, I guess. Still.” Baekhyun thinks he sees pity in Jongdae’s eyes.

“This situation is really something. You two are always really something,” Jongdae laughs without a trace of humor.

“I guess you’re right,” Baekhyun agrees. “We always were.”

The two of them sit in the cafe for a little longer letting their thoughts take over. It’s a comfortable silence, and moments like these make Baekhyun wish that it were this best friend he fell in love with. It would have made life much easier. Much less complicated.

“You’re not selling your apartment,” Jongdae says a few minutes later. Baekhyun puts on his puppy dog pout. “That stopped working on me years ago. Besides you can’t leave after all the work Sehun and Jongin did to make that place your fairy tale dream castle or whatever.”

Baekhyun shoots him a glare. “Well what am I supposed to do then?”

“Deal with it like an adult. If he’s avoiding you then you can always do the same.” Jongdae suggests. “Just avoid him like the plague.”

“Such adult advice you give, oh great Jongdae,” Baekhyun snickers.

“Shut the fuck up. I’m here to help. What other friend would run across the city at a minute's notice for you? That’s right, nobody.”

“What happened to your ‘selfish reasons’?” Baekhyun questions.

“They disappeared right along with your gratitude you little bitch,” Jongdae snaps back. “Now shut up and drink your bubble tea before I strangle you.”

“Yes sir,” Baekhyun smiles, temporarily calmed.

\----

Much to Baekhyun’s relief, it takes another two weeks for Baekhyun to run into Chanyeol again. Baekhyun enters his apartment building after grabbing dinner with Sehun, Jongin, and Jongdae, hurrying inside in a futile attempt of getting out of the rain. The rain was sudden, and he remembers Dr. Choi being rather ominous about getting his cast wet. He makes it to the elevator in one piece, only to notice that there is another person waiting along with him.

“Hello- oh Chanyeol,” Baekhyun greets a rather frazzled looking Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol’s eyes bug out. “How are you? I haven’t seen you around in a while, neighbor.”

_ Neighbor?  _ Baekhyun bitterly scoffs in his head.

“Yeah. I’ve just been around, and stuff,” he vaguely states. “You know,” he uselessly adds.

“Oh cool.” Chanyeol struggles to find words. The elevator doors open and they both step in. Baekhyun struggles with his cast because of all his awkward nerves and he feels Chanyeol’s arm come up to the small of his back. The hand disappears as quick as it came and Baekhyun wonders if he’s even thinking straight. They go up in silence, with Baekhyun unwilling to start a conversation that will mean nothing.

Baekhyun walks to his door and digs in his pockets for keys as he makes his way to his apartment door. He can feel the other pause behind him.

“Hey, Baek.”

Baekhyun startles and drops his keys, immediately lunging down to grab them. He twists around once they are secured in his hands again, and looks straight at Chanyeol, pretending the tall man’s use of his old nickname didn’t affect him at all.

Baekhyun tilts his head meaningfully in an unspoken question.

“Oh, um,” Chanyeol looks nervous. “I was just wondering if you’d like to come in for a cup of tea. I should have invited you over a while ago. It was rude of me.”

Baekhyun almost scoffs at the other man. In his opinion, everything about Chanyeol was rude, but curiosity was always his weakness and Baekhyun can’t help but agree to join him. He shuffles beside Chanyeol silently and waits for the other to unlock his door. Baekhyun can almost feel the discomfort of the situation on his fingertips, but he pays it no attention. The state of their relationship was Chanyeol’s doing anyways.

Baekhyun takes it all in as they enter the apartment. The furniture is cozy, and it looks lived in. Warm.

“It’s a little weird here alone now. My old roommate Yixing moved out a month ago so it feels empty,” Chanyeol fills the space with chatter, just like always.

“It’s nice,” Baekhyun comments honestly. “I like it.”

Chanyeol pauses once again, looking like he’s about to say something, but once again decides against it. Baekhyun is itching to know what’s been on the tip of his tongue. An explanation, perhaps?

“So what have you been up to, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks, doing his best to leave the sarcasm out of his tone. “It’s been a while,” he can’t help but add.

“It has, hasn’t it?” Chanyeol chuckles nervously. He knows how Baekhyun meant it. “I’m actually in medical school now. I work at this clinic in Cheongdamdong during the summers. Just came from there actually.”

“Cheongdamdong, huh?” Baekhyun smiles a little. “Fancy.”

“Yeah, it pays well. I learn a lot.” Chanyeol fills in as he pulls out things to make tea. He looks up with curious eyes. “Citrus is still okay right?

Baekhyun nods. He’s starting to feel frustrated, waiting for answers he doesn’t even know he’ll get.

“What about you? Anything groundbreaking?” Chanyeol casually throws out. “Other than the three world championships. Brilliant, by the way.” The,  _ I watched all of them _ goes unsaid. But then again, Chanyeol doesn’t have to say anything. Baekhyun already knows.

They continue to make small talk while Chanyeol makes tea, and Baekhyun feels angrier as each word is said. Chanyeol finally finishes the tea and brings two mugs over to the table, taking a seat across from him. After a beat of silence, Chanyeol begins to speak again.

“So how did your injury actually happen?” Chanyeol starts again, and Baekhyun decides he’s had enough. He puts his tea down.

“Chanyeol are you kidding me right now?” Baekhyun seethes. Chanyeol’s expression turns nervous. “Please tell me that you are.”

“I-” Chanyeol starts and stops. He seems to be grappling for words, yet he comes up with nothing. “I’m sorry,” Is what he settles for. Baekhyun decides it’s not enough. Not by a long shot.

“I’m sorry?” Baekhyun looks away, tears almost forming in his eyes. “Five years, No contact. You just fell off the face of the earth and that’s all you have to say?” Hands in fists, he unsuccessfully wills himself to calm down.

“It’s funny because everyone else seemed to know where you had disappeared to,” Baekhyun continues. “Except me of course.

“At first I was confused, but then I realized that it didn’t make any fucking sense. That they knew what was going on and I didn’t, because none of them were your best friend, but I was.”

Baekhyun looked straight into Chanyeol’s eyes. “I was your best friend, and you just abandoned me. You know, I tried for so long to figure out why. What it is that I did wrong? But I came up with nothing every single time.”

Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

“If I'm sorry is all you have to say to me after this long, then I guess I was right all along. Our friendship really did end all those years ago.” Baekhyun stands up with force, almost knocking the cup of tea over.

“I’ll be on my way then.” Baekhyun turns away. “Don’t worry, I’ll make myself scarce. You don’t have to feel obligated to talk to me with some bullshit neighbor excuse. I can see how painful it is for you, you never were a very good actor, you know,” Baekhyun adds before he leaves. He makes his way to the door silently, a part of him hoping that Chanyeol would say something. Anything.

He’s about to grab the doorknob when he feels a hand wrapped around his wrist. The next thing he knows, he’s being pulled into Chanyeol’s warm embrace. Shocked, he freezes.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol whimpers. This time it drills itself into Baekhyun’s heart. He can’t even remember the last time he’s heard Chanyeol sound this broken. “I’m so so sorry. I know have no right to do this,” Chanyeol takes a deep breath.

  
  


Chanyeol tightens his hold on him. Baekhyun feels himself melting into the taller man’s embrace. “Don’t go. I promise I’ll make it all up to you. I’ll do whatever it takes. Please, just stay. Losing you was my fault five years ago and I know it's selfish but I don't want it to happen again.”

  
  


Baekhyun considers himself a rather strong individual, but he knows that when it comes to Chanyeol, defenses don’t exist. Warning bells go off all over Baekhyun’s head, and every sane part of his brain is screaming at him to stop, but he can’t. This is Chanyeol, and frankly, he never stood a chance. Cursing himself, his eyes close and he relaxes, tightening his arms around Chanyeol.

Sure, there were things to be figured out. Problems to be solved. But there was always later, and that’s what later was for anyways. Now, on the other hand, after all these years, Baekhyun decided that just this once, he could let himself let go.

\----

There is only so much one can do alone, jobless, and cripple for an extended period of time. Baekhyun quickly realizes this fact as he sits in his apartment alone, for the millionth time in the last week.

It has been almost an entire week since Baekhyun went next door for some tea. Since then, Chanyeol has made it a point to stop by everyday after work and spend a few hours with Baekhyun before calling it a night.

He can tell, quite clearly, that Chanyeol is avoiding talking about what Baekhyun has been referring to as the “five year incident”. A part of Baekhyun doesn’t want to push it, but the other part insists that he deserves an explanation. He knows which part of him is right, but of course Baekhyun is weak and refuses to do anything about it.

“If he keeps being this shady I’m literally going to come and threaten it out of him,” an exasperated Jongdae complains into the phone. “This idiot made you cry for two months. And as much as I love Chanyeol, literally what the hell.”

Baekhyun can’t say he disagrees.

“Ignorance is bliss?” Baekhyun offers. Jongdae makes an appalled noise. “I’m giving him some time to come around. He really meant it when he said he’d make it up to me. He's been just like old times lately. Like my Chanyeol.”

“Well your Chanyeol better explain himself soon.” Jongdae sighs, “Look Baekhyun, I don’t doubt that Chanyeol is being genuine. He always has been. Honestly I don’t doubt that even after all these years that you still mean just as much to him,” Baekhyun feels the heavy pause and waits for the but.

“But at the same time, the guy disappeared from your life for 5 years without an explanation. You deserve more than him just walking back into your life like nothing ever happened,” Jongdae reasons. “Just...be careful, okay?”

_ I don’t want to see you getting hurt again.  _

“I will, don’t worry,” Baekhyun has spent the last week getting used to having Chanyeol in his life again, but he still has his reservations. There is always that nagging fear that when being Chanyeol’s best friend becomes normal again, Baekhyun will be left just as vulnerable as before.

Baekhyun sighs and flops onto his couch, getting annoyed by the weight of the cast on his legs. He only has two weeks until he’s out of the cast and starting therapy, and he can’t wait. At least going to PT will give him a reason to get out of the house and do his own thing while all of his friends were busy.

“You really need to start locking your door, Baek, this is getting unsafe,” Chanyeol calls as he steps through the door.

“I don’t wanna get up and open the door for you though,” Baekhyun whines, pouting. Chanyeol rolls his eyes and appears from the hallway, carrying bags of groceries. “What’s all that?”

“You, my friend, are in for a special treat,” Chanyeol smiles. “Pasta.”

“Really?” Baekhyun gets excited. “Need any help?”

“Oh god, no,” Chanyeol warns. “Don’t you even think of stepping into the kitchen, just your presence in the kitchen will probably burn the entire apartment building down.”

Baekhyun scratches his head sheepishly. “I’ve gotten better you know. I can make ramen without any casualties now.”

Chanyeol chuckles and gets to work.

_ It’s comfortable _ , Baekhyun thinks to himself as they sit across from each other enjoying a well-cooked meal. This is how it should be.

Baekhyun convinces himself that everything is fine. Nothing is wrong, at least not at the moment. This is what he always wanted.

His heart pounds in his chest as he sees Chanyeol break down in giggles at his own jokes. He wonders how it’s possible to fall in love with someone you’ve already loved for years. All over again, like it’s the first time.

\----

“Remember, the most important thing is to avoid overexerting,” Dr. Choi reminds Baekhyun. “You don’t want to re-injure it. You’re going to be wearing this brace for another 2 months, don’t forget to put it on, as tempting as it might be.”

“I won’t,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, excited that he finally got that lump of plastic off of his leg. It was liberating.

By the time he gets home from his doctors appointment, it’s almost 8. After sleeping in until the early afternoon, and spending a few hours at the hospital, the day really flew by fast. Baekhyun exhales in relief at the realization that he doesn’t have to find ways to bide his time for the rest of the day. He contemplates getting into bed and watching Parks and Rec until he falls asleep, when he hears a loud banging on his door.

“Open uppppppppp,” Sehun almost yells on the other side of the door. Baekhyun speeds over and yanks it open.

“Shut up, you’re going to get me evicted.” Baekhyun slaps Sehun on the arm. Jongdae and Jongin sport wide smiles next to him as the three charge into his apartment. “What are you guys up to?” he asks suspiciously.

“Now that you have been freed from your chains, we have decided to give you the true college experience.” Jongdae announces. “Now change into something sexy.”

“Ummm,” Baekhyun stares, but is quickly pulled to his closet by an eager Jongin.

“Come on, let’s make use of these ridiculous clothes you bought,” He exclaims.

“Hey!” Baekhyun shoots back.

“These all look like these came out of an EXO music video. I want all of them,” Sehun marvels, but quickly snaps out of it. “Why are you so small, I won’t fit into any of these.”

“Shut up you little brat. So, what exactly does one wear to… wait, where are we going again?”

“Club Red Light,” Jongdae grabs a leather jacket off the rack. “Here, wear this. You’ll fit right in.”

Baekhyun sighs and resigns himself to his fate. Parks and Rec was going to have to wait.

\----

“Nobody is going to recognize you, Baekhyun. I can barely see your face and I’m standing two inches away from you.”

“I can’t get caught being here. I’ve been scandal free for years, and if this damages my reputation Zitao is going to kill me.” Baekhyun is nervous. He’s never been in a place like this before.

“Zitao is such a pain in the ass, the guy literally does not know what fun means,” Jongdae complains. “You really have had no life for the past five years, huh?” he wonders aloud. “You’ve been all over the world. Imagine all the bars you must have had access to. Next time take me with you. You can work and I can just get drunk at high class European clubs.”

Baekhyun elbows Jongdae in the side and makes his way to the bar as subtly as possible. Jongdae was right. Nobody seems to be recognizing him. Everyone at the club was either too wrapped up in their own lives, or too drunk to care.

Jongin comes up behind him and takes a seat on the barstool next to his. “Two B52s,” he tells the bartender who immediately gets to work. “You seem happy, hyung. Relaxed,” Jongin laments. “I haven’t seen you like this in so long. You really should take breaks more often. I like seeing a genuine smile on your face.”

  
  


Baekhyun smiles back as two shots appear before the pair. His smile quickly fades at the sight. “Jongin, they’re on fire. Ingesting fire seems like a terrible idea. There is no way that this can end well.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and blows the fire out, motioning for Baekhyun to do the same. “Oh, hyung, you have so much to learn. On the count of three then?”

Baekhyun nods, grin forming on his face. He throws the shot back on three and feels it burn down his throat. He hadn’t had a drink in so long that he’d almost forgotten how good the alcohol felt. He rarely drinks because of his tight practice schedule. He never had the luxury of free time, and would rather die than face the Donghae’s wrath if he came to training hung over.

“Damn. That was amazing” Baekhyun mutters.

“That, my friend, is the magic of the B52. If you’re up for another one, I’ll grab the others.”

Baekhyun laughs and nods, he was more than ready.

\----

“CHONNELphf,” Baekhyun yells into the hall, banging on Chanyeol’s door. He hears a door open to his right, revealing none other than Chanyeol himself.

“Oh my god Chanyeol, did you break into my apartment again?” Baekhyun drawls. “Wait, my apartment is over there,” he points in the opposite direction. “ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR?”

Chanyeol rushes over looking half scared and half amused, he walks up to Baekhyun and steadies him. “Here, let’s get you inside.”

Baekhyun is a clingy drunk. He latches onto Chanyeol and holds on tight. “Why are you opening this door? Breaking into houses is bad, Chanyeol.”

“This is your apartment you idiot,” Chanyeol drags Baekhyun into the familiar place.

“You’re right! Chanyeol, I’m proud of you.” Baekhyun trips over his feet.

“Watch out there, you’re still hurt,” Chanyeol warns, voice laced with concern. He wraps two arms around Baekhyun’s waist to support him. Baekhyun sinks into the touch.

“Hmm nice,” Baekhyun sighs. “Oh! I have a question to ask you.”

Chanyeol stiffens for a moment, wondering what it could be. “Sure, go ahead.”

If Baekhyun were ten times more sober he would have been able to catch the strain in Chanyeol’s voice.

“When was the meat so high?” Baekhyun giggles to himself.

“What?” Chanyeol chokes out, thown off.

“When was the meat so high?” he repeats, insistent.

“Um, Baekhyun are you okay? We really need to get you to bed.”

“Answer the question firstttt,” Baekhyun whines.

“Uh, is it weed related?” Chanyeol tries his best.

“Ha. WRONG. You have a dirty mind Mr. Park Chanyeol.” Baekhyun chortles. “The meat was so high when the cow jumped over the moon, you dumbass.”

“Uhhhh.” Chanyeol decides to let it go and continues with his previous task of dragging Baekhyun to his room.

“Ooooh I have another one,” Baekhyun keeps going. “What room can no one enter?”

“Baekhyun, I’m afraid I have no idea.” Chanyeol struggles to get Baekhyun into bed.

“A MUSHROOM,” Baekhyun breaks down in to a fit of laughter, rolling around the bed uncontrollably.

“Okay, you need to go to bed,” Chanyeol attempts with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Baekhyun sighs. “Okayyy.” He was feeling a little bit sleepy anyways, all he needed to was close his eyes and he’d be out.

“Goodnight Baek,” he hears faintly before his eyes shut and he falls asleep.

\----

Unsurprisingly, Baekhyun wakes up with no recollection of the night before. He pulls out his phone and calls Jongdae for answers.

“I have no fucking clue what happened last night man.” Jongdae’s voice is scratchy and he sounds almost worse than Baekhyun does. “As a matter of fact, I just woke up in someone else’s bed, and I am currently trying to figure out who exactly that might be. They are definitely in the kitchen but I’m scared, what should I do. Also, I must add that this guy’s place is really nice, he must be rich.”

“What the fuck Jongdae,” Baekhyun has to stop himself from laughing.

“I hear footsteps. He’s coming back, oh no,” Jongdae whispers.

“I made breakfast.” Baekhyun hears a muffled, yet familiar voice on the line.

“No,” Jongdae chokes out. “Nononono hell fucking no I am naked and you are here. Why?”

“Grammar, Jongdae.” Baekhyun finally recognizes the deadpan voice.

“YOU SLEPT WITH MY PR AGENT?” Baekhyun shrieks into the phone.

“No, I didn’t,” Jongdae counters. “He literally the epitome of everything I disagree with there is no way this happened.”

“Well, you didn’t feel that way when you jumped my bones at the club last night. Anyways, I also have to go to work in about 20 minutes so if you would eat and promptly get out, I would like that very much.” Zitao sounds amused. “Also, is that Baekhyun?”

“I’m hanging up,” Baekhyun panics.

“No you’re not. You’ve been MIA for a month and a half. I need to check on a few things,” Zitao huffs into the phone.

“Fine, what do you want,” Baekhyun concedes.

“I will list a few potential offers and you have to agree or disagree. It’s pretty simple, I’m sure your hung over brain can handle this much,” Zitao begins. “Magazine shoot with Yoona?”

“When?” Baekhyun asks, he’s known Yoona for a while and wouldn’t mind working with her again, but if it meant cutting short his break then he’d have to decline.

“A few weeks after your self imposed break is over. All of this stuff is after. I took your sanity into consideration,” Zitao quips bluntly.

“Yeah I’ll do it.” Baekhyun smiles. Zitao does have his nice moments, after all.

“Recording a song with EXO, and before you say no, I’d like to say that this would be a great opp-” Zitao tries to explain.

“No.”

“But it could-” he continues.

“No.”

“Fine, last one, endorsement with Nature Republic cosmetics?” Zitao asks.

“How much free shit will I get?”

Zitao sighs, “A lot Baekhyun. You will get a lot of free shit.”

“I’m in.”

“Great. Now that this is settled, I have no reason to speak to you for at least another two months. Have a nice life, Baekhyun,” Baekhyun can hear a hint of a smile.

“I know you love me, Zitao, don’t worry,” Baekhyun adds back and hangs up before Zitao can protest.

He finally finds the strength to drag himself out of bed for breakfast, and finds a pot of soup waiting on his counter top with a post-it stuck to it.

_ Eat well, Baek. _

He turns around to see another post it on his fridge.

_ Water’s in the fridge. Drink up. _

Baekhyun laughs and grabs a bottle from the fridge, thinking to himself how much better it would be if Chanyeol was actually here.

\----

“I’ve decided that you need to get out of here more often,” Chanyeol concludes as they sit at the dining table eating fried chicken with Jongdae, Sehun and Jongin.

  
  


It took a bit of convincing, but Jongdae finally came around to the idea of Chanyeol spending more time with the group.

“You really do. Now that your leg is a lot better, and you can actually move and stuff,” Jongdae speaks around a mouthful of chicken. “You only have so long before we lose you to skating again.”

“Why don’t we just watch all the dramas I missed? Outside is work,” Baekhyun debates.

“Lazy ass,” Jongdae snickers.

“At least I’m not in denial about being in love with Zitao,” Baekhyun bites back.

“You’re with Zitao?” Sehun asks, shocked. "And in love with him too?"

“I am not with Zitao, we just meet occasionally sometimes,” Jongdae explains, turning slightly pink.

“Wow I would have never guessed that he was your type,” Jongin wonders aloud.

“He is not my type. We aren’t together and we never will be,” Jongdae defends himself.

“Well, with the amount of not quite sleep you guys are doing together, I’m not sure how long that will last,” Baekhyun wonders, leaning away from Jongdae in efforts to avoid getting hit.

“Who is Zitao?” Chanyeol asks, confused.

“He’s my PR agent. Jongdae has always hated him, but I guess not anymore.” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows making everyone at the table laugh, except Jongdae of course.

“Anyways, come on man. We are youths. We must adventure,” Chanyeol insists.

“Adventure we must!” Sehun chimes in.

“Don’t let your lazy ass stop you from living life!” Jongdae takes the opportunity to get back at him.

“Yeah!” Sehun, Jongin, and Chanyeol chorus.

Baekhyun decides that he hates all of his friends.

\----

What Baekhyun wasn’t aware of was that Chanyeol was actually planning on getting Baekhyun out of the house against his will. The next day Chanyeol shows up at his door early in the afternoon.

“I’d like to present to you Chanyeol’s Adventure Series, part one!” Chanyeol exclaims as he walks into Baekhyun’s apartment.

“It’s too early to go outside, the sun will burn my eyes.” Baekhyun only woke up about an hour ago.

“Get dressed you lazy ass, we have things to do. Places to be.” Chanyeol pushes a reluctant Baekhyun off into his room and waits for the latter to get ready. When Baekhyun finally comes out, Chanyeol grabs his arm and drags him out quickly. “First stop: Myeongdong!”

From then onwards Baekhyun starts to realize exactly how serious this adventure plan was. Any time he wasn’t at physical therapy, he was off doing things with Chanyeol, occasionally featuring their other three friends. They spend their days doing everything from hunting for bargains in Dongdaemun to finding the best street food in Seoul, and nights, of course, are spent on the streets of Hongdae hunting for the best clubs to get hammered at. Nights when Baekhyun can press himself up a little closer to Chanyeol and pretend that it’s the alcohol dancing and not him.

More than anything, Baekhyun realizes that he’s having fun. Perhaps more fun that he’s had combined in the last three years of his career. He starts to wonder when skating stopped being fun, and when it was just work. Work that he enjoyed, of course, but still work. He misses the times when he would look forward to getting on the ice, no matter what. When he would skate his heart out without stopping. It used to give him the best adrenaline rush and never failed to put a smile on his face. He wonders why it doesn’t anymore.

Some people say that making your passion your job makes you hate that thing, and Baekhyun can’t help but wonder whether or not it’s true.

\----

“Actually though, Chanyeol, what even are we doing right now,” Baekhyun looks around at all of the couples cuddling and watching cherry blossom petals float around them.

“You’ve never see the blossoms before,” Chanyeol says, like it’s obvious. “You’ve always wanted to go, haven’t you? Competition season is always during this time, I might not get the chance to take you until you’re an old man,” he teases.

Baekhyun stills for a fraction of a second before laughing it off. This is the first time Chanyeol has casually brought up the past. Baekhyun probably shouldn’t think much of it.

“Well, I’ll make sure to come back here with my future husband. We’ll go on a double date with Jongin and Krystal,” Baekhyun jokes and freezes. He had never imagined himself officially coming out to his best friend by telling a joke in the middle of a cherry blossom festival. He’s pretty sure Chanyeol already knew, anyways. He’s pretty sure Chanyeol wasn’t so straight himself.

“Husband?” There’s a glint in Chanyeol’s eyes, but Baekhyun has no idea what it means.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, starting to wonder whether he should be nervous or not.

“Okay.” Chanyeol looks like he’s lost in thought.

“Okay?” Baekhyun asks, needing approval. Chanyeol finally seems to register.

“Of course, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol seems startled. “You didn’t think I would…”

“No I just needed,” he pauses. “You know,” he lamely adds. Chanyeol grabs his hand and squeezes it in reassurance.

“Yeah, I know.”

\----

Baekhyun wakes up on his birthday not knowing what to expect. He knows that Chanyeol has something up his sleeve, the man couldn’t hide things from Baekhyun no matter how hard he tried.

Baekhyun rolls out of bed and goes about his morning, on his toes with excitement. Time passes, and by the time the clock reads 1:00PM Baekhyun starts to get frustrated. He hasn’t gotten a call or text from anyone but his family, and Chanyeol didn’t even leave him a note on his door before he left to work.

By 2:00 pm, he’s almost ready to break and give Chanyeol or Jongdae a call, but hears a knock on his door before he can. He swings it open to see Chanyeol greeting him with a grin.

“Happy Birthday, best friend,” Chanyeol wishes him.

“Don’t you have work today?” Baekhyun asks.

  
  


“I got off early. It’s time for Chanyeol’s Adventure Series, part five!” Chanyeol exclaims. “The best installment, in my honest opinion. However, first, we must prepare!”

“Oh god. Should I be scared?” Baekhyun asks as Chanyeol struts into his room and starts shoving clothes into a duffel bag.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Chanyeol singsongs. Baekhyun gives up on hopes to get the secret out of the taller man. He figures he might as well go along with it.

He gets dragged to Chanyeol’s car, which happened to be stocked up with enough road trip snacks and drinks for a small family.

“Are we driving to France? What is all this food for?” Baekhyun asks, utterly confused at this point. Chanyeol just smiles surreptitiously and starts driving.

  
  


They drive for about thirty minutes before Baekhyun is dozing off against his will.

  
  


“Cars always make me sleepy. It’s out of my hands,” he defends himself sleepily when Chanyeol teases him.

  
  


By the time he wakes up the car isn’t moving any longer. Instead they were on a ferry, tightly packed in with almost 15 other cars. Baekhyun’s eyes light up at the sight, and he finally figures out where they’re headed.

  
  


“Jeju?” Baekhyun can’t keep the excitement out of his voice.

  
  


“No, we’re going to France, remember?” Chanyeol sarcastically responds. Baekhyun reaches up and flicks him on the forehead. “Ow!”

“That’s what you get for sassing the sass king,” Baekhyun says proudly.

“I thought you were the skating king.” Chanyeol raises his eyebrows in challenge.

“I’m the king of a lot of things, Chanyeol. You’re just going to have to get used to it,” Baekhyun laughs. “Thank you, though.”

“Of course, Baekhyun. Anything for you.”

\----

The next three days pass by with Baekhyun having the time of his life. Chanyeol takes him to all the nicest beaches and the best tasting restaurants.

“So this is what I was missing all of those summers, huh,” Baekhyun breathes as he sits next to Chanyeol, watching the sun set on the beach on the last night of their trip.

“Yeah you should have ditched practice and come,” Chanyeol laughs, playing with the sand. “It would have been fun.”

In high school, Chanyeol’s family used to vacation to Jeju every summer. They would always invite Baekhyun along, but he could never go because of training. All of these adventures Baekhyun has been having during his time off has showed him how much he’s missed out on because of his career.

The sun finally sets, leaving the sky a pretty light pink. Baekhyun lies down, sinking into the sand.

“I like this.” Baekhyun feels more relaxed than he’s felt in a while. “It reminds me of my life before skating consumed it.”

“We were just stupid kids back then,” Chanyeol reasons, chuckling. “We all have to grow up, I guess.”

“Growing up is annoying,” Baekhyun whines. “I want recess back. Remember when you fell of the monkey bars and broke your arm?”

“You want me to break my arm again?” Chanyeol flicks Baekhyun’s side. “You were an awful friend, by the way. You didn’t even help me up. You just stood there laughing instead while I cried on the ground.”

“It was a funny situation and I was a ten year old,” Baekhyun argues.

“You would probably do the same thing now.”

“Maybe,” Baekhyun relents. They fall into a comfortable silence.

Baekhyun contemplates whether or not to break it.

“So, I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a while…” Baekhyun decides to go for it.

“An explanation,” Chanyeol reads his mind. “It’s long overdue, I know.”

Chanyeol let’s out a big sigh. The atmosphere grows heavier.

“So, the disappearance,” Chanyeol begins. “I don’t even know where to start. I guess I can start with something you’ll probably kick my ass for, but… first and foremost I want to tell you, once again, that I am really sorry.

“It’s been bothering me for the last five years. There were a lot of times when I regretted it so much, Baekhyun. I wanted to come back to you. That first day when I saw you two months ago, I was so happy-”

“Didn’t look like it,” Baekhyun huffs.

“No, it probably didn’t.” Chanyeol concedes. “But it was there, underneath the nerves and the fear. You remember that day you won your first major tournament?”

“You mean the day you stopped speaking to me.”

“Yeah that day. It was about a month into university and we hadn’t seen each other for almost three weeks. We were barely talking, but you were so busy with training that you didn’t realize. I was there that day, you know, at the tournament. Something just snapped inside of me and I walked out without saying congratulations.”

“What?” Baekhyun asks, confused.

“For 18 years, our lives revolved around each other. But at that point, it still did for me, but you found something else. I know you didn't abandon me, but skating officially became your new life and I had nothing. No passions or dreams other than wanting to be next to you forever. I needed to make a life for myself, Baekhyun and I couldn’t do that with you there, tempting me to just stick to you.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun lets out, not knowing how to respond.

“So I made myself a life. I made friends in college. I figured out that I wanted to be a doctor. I made decisions without considering how it would affect just me instead of the both of us. I know that none of that excuses what I did, but I really needed to do it,” Chanyeol continues. “It was hard you know, making the adjustment. I never really understood how much my life was just about you until you were gone. It took me a while to fill the holes.”

“So you just cut me out of your life and replaced me, huh?” Baekhyun feels anger creep into him.

“Replace you?” Chanyeol says incredulously. “No. I figured out pretty early on that I could never do that. There are still holes, Baekhyun. I only feel all together when I’m with you.”

Chanyeol takes a deep breath.

“You don’t have to forgive me, or understand me even.” he says. “You just need to know.”

“What about me?” Baekhyun lets out, feeling small. “All these years, did you ever think about me? How I felt about this? How much I was losing? You were everything Chanyeol. You always were.”

He feels a pair of arms wrapping around him. Baekhyun shivers a little but leans closer into the touch. Baekhyun knows that it’s more than a friendly hug. He would be lying to himself if he said that he had never noticed that his feelings for Chanyeol were reciprocated. In reality, he had known for a while, but didn’t know what to do about it. He’s pretty sure that Chanyeol felt the same.

“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol whispers again and again. A part of Baekhyun him feels angry with himself for accepting the situation so easily, for not putting up a fight.

“So, can I safely assume that you’re done soul searching?” Baekhyun jokes, albeit half-heartedly.  _ Can I have you back? _ Baekhyun’s thoughts go unsaid, but Chanyeol knows without hearing them out loud.

“Yes,” Chanyeol reassures him. “I won’t leave you again, I promise.”

“Good,” Baekhyun says softly. That’s all he really needs.

\--

Sometimes Baekhyun thinks that things are too good to be true. The media has finally lost interest in his life, he’s enjoying himself, and he’s in love with his best friend that may or may not love him back. Baekhyun is happy. 

Despite this happiness, however, he finds different kinds thoughts running through his head. It’s shocking, really, how he hasn’t missed the rink even a little. It has been three months since he has even been near it, yet nothing is pulling him back. It’s frightening to Baekhyun to think that he might have lost his passion for skating. That the thought of quitting and living a normal life with his friends pops into his head more often than not these days. 

The opening of his front door breaks him out of his reverie. 

“Organic chemistry gives me so much stress,” Chanyeol complains as he collapses onto the couch next to Baekhyun. School had started back up a week ago and his three friends already started bitching about difficult classes and professors that came from hell. Oddly enough, it makes Baekhyun miss school. He was never too bad at it and being in a classroom full of people was always enjoyable for someone who loved talking so much.

“What if I went back to school?” Baekhyun wonders out loud. The more he thinks about it, the more he feels like it’s a good idea. 

“Huh?” Chanyeol asks. “That came out of the blue.” 

“I don’t know, I have four months of therapy left and nothing to do until then…” Baekhyun trails off. “I figure it would be a good way to bide my time. And maybe learn something along the way.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” Chanyeol agrees. “It would keep you from bothering all of us when we’re at school.” 

“Shut up.” Baekhyun throws a pillow at him. “I’ve been watching too many TV shows lately, at this rate if I don’t find something else to do, I’ll go crazy.” 

Baekhyun doesn’t even know what he would study. He’s been asked what he would do if he wasn’t a famous figure skater at press conferences time and again, but never really thought about it in depth. He would always default to some harmless funny answer, like becoming an actor or idol, but in reality he hasn’t got a clue. He’s only ever had two dreams, becoming the world’s best figure skater, and becoming Chanyeol’s…forever. 

“Maybe I’ll look into it,” Baekhyun concludes. “By the way, I’m visiting home this weekend. Are you are interested in joining me?” 

Even though he talks to them a lot, Baekhyun hasn’t spent some quality time with his parents in while. His older brother just got engaged and they were having a party, so Baekhyun decided that this would be a better time than ever to pay the family a visit. 

“Can’t. I have way too much to do.” Chanyeol flails around frustrated. “My mom told me about the party, though. Tell your brother congratulations from me.”

“I will,” Baekhyun responds, while Chanyeol rises from the couch.

“Well, I just wanted to check on you to make sure you didn’t die from boredom. I have to go study now, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Chanyeol starts to walk towards the door.

“Why can’t you just study here?” Baekhyun whines.

“You’re distracting,” Chanyeol laughs. “Stay sane Baekhyunnie.” 

“I’ll do my best, but no guarantees.” 

\----

Baekhyun goes straight to the train station from physical therapy the next day and hops on a train to his hometown. He hadn’t actually told his family that he was coming by for the party, wanting to make it a surprise, so he hopes that there are actually people at home when he finally arrives 3 hours later. 

He knocks on the door a few times to no response other than some shuffling inside the house. 

The door flings open to reveal his mother, who was currently wearing an apron with red stains all over it. 

“Sometimes when I look at your aprons I wonder how you manage to actually get anything inside the pot to cook,” Baekhyun teases cheekily. 

“Shut up you insolent child.” His mom whacks him on the side of the head before pulling him into a giant bear hug.

“Mom, this shirt is expensive you’re going to get your stains all over it,” Baekhyun whines. 

“Quit whining, you brat.” His mother drags him into the house, “How is your leg doing? When will you be back on the rink? You better not be straining yourself, okay?

“Mom slow down. Let’s take these one at a time,” Baekhyun laughs, stepping up to the cutting board. “Let me help you.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” his mother pats him on the head.

“Where is everyone, anyways?”

“Your brother and father are still at the shop and Hyeonhee is out running errands for the party.” Baekhyun’s family has an auto shop that most of the locals rely on for all their car troubles. “So, tell me about your time off. I noticed you’ve been laying low. I haven’t seen you on the television in ages.”

  
  


“I needed a break, that’s all,” Baekhyun sighs. His mother comes up behind him and pats him on the shoulder.

  
  


“I know, sweetheart. It’s about time.”

\----

“Hyeonhee, lay off,” Baekbeom laughs. “You’ll scare him away.”

“No way hyung, she’s so much cooler than you are.” Baekhyun has come to the conclusion that Hyeonhee is perfect. They way she gets along with his brother almost makes him jealous, and she fits right in with the rest of the family. 

“But seriously Baekhyun, if you can get me Yuna’s autograph I will make you whatever food you want forever,” Hyeonhee says.

“If you come to worlds next year, I can probably introduce the two of you,” Baekhyun offers.

“No. Way.” Hyeonhee freaks out a little at the thought.

“So, Baekhyun, I was talking to Chanyeol’s dad the other day,” Baekhyun’s dad starts.

“Oh yeah? How is he?” Baekhyun asks.

“He’s doing well. He’ll be at the party you can greet him.” Baekhyun nods.

“How is he, by the way? Chanyeol,” Baekhyun’s mom inquires. He had told her about running into his childhood friend a few weeks ago, but hadn’t said much about it since.

“He’s doing well. Studying for medical school a lot, but he’s been well,” Baekhyun says as nonchalantly as possible. Baekhyun’s mother knows all about his crush. So does the rest of his family, for that matter, because they’re all giving him knowing looks.

“How many times do I have to tell you that we are just friends?” Baekhyun complains. 

“Uh huh,” Hyeonhee knowingly teases.

“Not you too,” Baekhyun whines. “I thought you were on my side.” 

“We would believe you,” Baekbeom begins.

“If?” Baekhyun fills in.

“If you lost the hearts in your eyes every time you talk about him.” Baekhyun throws a fork at him.

“Calm down, you two.” Their mother rolls her eyes. 

“Moving on, should we go for pearl blue or gold for our accent color, Baekhyun?” Hyeonhee starts up the wedding topic again, much to his brothers’ displeasure.

“Not again,” Baekbeom sighs. 

“Get used to it Hyung,” Baekhyun chuckles as Baekbeom groans. “This is going to be your life for the next 7 months.” 

Baekhyun has to say, the revenge is pretty sweet.

\----

Baekhyun sways back and forth on his porch swing. The warm air feels good on his skin, and he can actually see the stars. The stars make him think about Jeju, which leads him to thoughts of Chanyeol, yet again. Baekhyun groans in frustration. 

He wonders if he’s getting too attached. Chanyeol did promise never to leave again, but reality is what it is. Chances are that when Baekhyun starts skating again they won’t be seeing much of each other. It will probably be ten times harder, even, to let it all go for the second time. 

“What are you thinking so hard about?” His mother comes and takes a seat next to him. 

Baekhyun just sighs in response. 

“You know you don’t have to say goodbye to him,” Baekhyun laughs. His mother always knows exactly where his head is. 

“No, I don’t,” Baekhyun explains. “But at the same time, in a way, I kind of do.

“We’re living our dreams now, and they’re so different. You know how we get. Before we know it keeping in touch will mean we’re holding each other back and neither of us will want that for the other. I’m going to want to follow him, but I’m not ready to give up on my career.”

Baekhyun might not feel the same passion for skating as he did when he was 16 and starting on the professional circuit, but he knows it’s somewhere inside of him. 

“Mom, I haven't even thought of going to the rink or skating in the last three months. Not even once. It scares me,” Baekhyun spills. “I know I need a break and that I’m sick of it, but that is so weird for me. Sometimes I think that if I didn’t have Chanyeol around me all the time I would be thinking differently and I start to understand why he left me all those years ago.” 

“You might have been thinking differently, but you wouldn’t have been as happy as you are right now. Anyways, figure skating is your passion, it’ll come back to you soon enough.” His mother wraps an arm around his shoulder.

“Baekhyun, I’ve learned in the past few years that there are only two things that can make your eyes light up as bright as they are now, and one of them is Chanyeol,” 

“What’s the other?” Baekhyun is curious.

“My kimchi jjigae,” Baekhyun’s mom intones so seriously it make him crack up.

“Very funny, mom,” Baekhyun relents.

“Just know that leaving Chanyeol doesn’t mean just losing a friendship. It means you’re losing a chance at finding love. Love is precious, Baekhyun, don’t risk it unless you have no other choice.” 

\----

Baekhyun has always been pretty awesome at lying to others, but lying to himself, on the other hand, has always been difficult. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t pretend that he hasn’t had feelings for Chanyeol for the last forever. 

The day he realized that he was, in love with his best friend was in his freshman year of high school. It was towards the end of the year; Chanyeol bounded up to him after a long day of classes, threw an arm around his shoulder and asked him if they could go for ice cream. Baekhyun didn’t know where the feeling came from, and it shocked him for a moment until he understood that the feeling was always there. He just hadn’t realized it. Ever since then, he’s buried that feeling down into the depths of his heart, hoping it would never be found again. 

That feeling, however, was starting to get problematic. All of the time he has been spending with Chanyeol recently has forced that piece of his heart out of hiding, and Baekhyun has to do all that he can to make sure Chanyeol can’t see it. 

“What are you thinking about?” Chanyeol waves a paper in front of his face. “Do your work or you’ll fail out of the course.”

“Baekhyun is smart enough to pass Intro to Business, it’s like the easiest class in the major,” Jongdae quips from where he has all of his books spread out on the floor. 

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Sehun jokes from the other corner of the room.

“I hate all of you, get out of my apartment.” Ever since he’s started taking online classes, the rest of his friends seem to think it’s okay to drop in and study at his house whenever they feel like it. Apparently it was okay now because he was no longer a distraction. “You guys only come here to trade off using my massage chair anyways.”

After thinking long and hard about what he could possibly do when his skating career was over, he realized that he would love to start his own skating school. Baekhyun has always enjoyed being around children, and to him, nothing would be more rewarding than developing the next generation of great figure skating talent every day. Maybe his two dreams could become three.

“It’s amazing, can you buy me one for my birthday?” Jongin sighs as he sinks further into said massage chair. 

“No, study hard and get a fancy job so you can buy one for yourself.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. He gets up to stretch out his cramped legs and get a snack to the kitchen. 

“Did you just do a step sequence?” Jongdae asks with amusement in his voice. 

“Huh?” Baekhyun responds confusedly. “Oh, I guess I did.” 

It’s been happening more often as the days go by. The other day he even got the sudden urge to pull out his skates and lace them up. His mother was right after all; his passion did come back. Baekhyun still had about two more months to go until he was allowed back on the rink, but he was slowly doubting he’d be able to last that long. Dr. Choi’s precautions of not letting him near the rink were very much necessary. He was really going to need them to keep him off the ice. 

“Does this mean we have to start Operation Avoid the Ice again?” Sehun grumbles. “That was such a pain in the ass last time.”

“What’s that?” Chanyeol asks.

“Last time when Baekhyun hurt his ankle we almost had to wrestle him to keep him from training too early,” Jongin laments.

“It was a particularly awful time in our lives, if I must say so myself.” Jongdae shudders at the thought.

“Come on guys, I wasn’t  _ that _ bad,” Baekhyun reasons.

“Yes you were,” the three of them deadpan in unison. 

“Well, I don’t think you’re going to need to start just yet,” Baekhyun thinks. “Maybe in a month. Those last couple weeks are always difficult for me. Meanwhile, Jongdae, my favorite business major! Will you help me with my problem set.” 

“I am the only business major you know, Baekhyun.”

“Exactly!” Baekhyun musters up as much enthusiasm as he can. 

“Make me some ramen and we’ll call it a deal,” Jongdae negotiates.

“Don’t burn down the kitchen, please,” Chanyeol says. “Also can you make me some too.”

“Me three,” Sehun adds.

“Me four!” Jongin jumps on the train. 

“Why am I friends with you people? There must be something wrong with me,” Baekhyun mumbles. 

“Glad that you’ve finally noticed Baekhyunnie,” Jongdae coons sweetly. 

“Shut up before I throw this pot at you.” 

\----

Chanyeol knocks on his door late on a Wednesday night. “Get dressed, we have places to be!”

“Ughhhh, can’t we just stay in tonight?” Baekhyun attempts. 

“Nope.” 

“Fine.” Baekhyun gives up. Every single one of the adventures Chanyeol drags him out on start out as a secret. Whether it’s biking on the Han or going to the grocery store, Chanyeol refuses to tell him. 

“It’s what makes it all exciting,” he explained one day. Baekhyun can’t say he minds. Good surprises are always nice, and Baekhyun trusts Chanyeol to make all surprises good ones. 

As they get into the car and drive off to their mysterious destination, Chanyeol tells him stories about university.

“Today this kid named Luhan didn’t have his reading done and our professor made him spontaneously recite the properties of compounds with covalent bonds using song and dance. It was hilarious.”

“I’m jealous,” Baekhyun whines. “My online lecture professor for finance keeps trying to be funny but all he does is make bad jokes about currency and it makes me want to chuck my computer out of the nearest window.” 

They continue to share stories about school, and before he knows it, Chanyeol is parking the car. As Baekhyun steps out he rolls his eyes. 

“Namsan? Please, Chanyeol, I’ve been here before. We’ve gone together,” Baekhyun points out. 

“We don’t necessarily have to go to places you haven’t been. Adventures are still adventures the second time around.” 

“Whatever you say, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun laughs as they walk to the cable cars. Once again, there are couples everywhere, and Baekhyun starts to wonder why on earth Chanyeol is bringing him to all of these couple infested places. 

After eating some snacks and walking around in the fresh breeze, Chanyeol drags Baekhyun over to the locks. 

“Let’s make one,” Chanyeol suggests enthusiastically. 

“Chanyeol, these are for couples.” Baekhyun wills his heart to stop beating so fast. 

“We’re a couple of friends. That’s good enough. I’ve always wanted to do this,” Chanyeol pleads, and of course it works. 

“Fine,” Baekhyun allows as Chanyeol pays the man at the counter in exchange for a lock. He writes his name on it and adds a heart underneath before passing it off to Baekhyun who writes his name as well.

They fasten it to the fence and take their leave. The car ride back home is quiet, with Baekhyun feeling sleepy and Chanyeol lost in thought. 

Silence is never uncomfortable with Chanyeol. Despite them both being more on the talkative side, neither of them has to force themselves to speak. Sometime just being around each other is enough. Every minute Baekhyun spends with Chanyeol, he feels himself falling deeper. With only a month left to go before he returns to the world of skating, he is at a loss for what to do.

\--

“Honestly, you should be fine to go back now, but I would give it another two weeks, just to be safe,” Dr. Choi tells him at his last appointment. “You have a lot on the line with this and I don’t want to risk anything.”

Baekhyun nods in agreement. Since he hadn’t been skating the circuit this season, he has even more time to prepare for the next. There was no reason to hurry anything, despite the fact that Baekhyun found himself desperately wanting to go back. He had to figure out his life, anyways, so the two weeks was a blessing. 

It had taken a while for Baekhyun to come to terms with wanting two different things in two different worlds. Baekhyun contemplated it for days, ultimately deciding that he can’t have both skating and Chanyeol at the same time. Chanyeol also couldn’t have both his medical career and Baekhyun. 

These next two years before Olympic season are going to be crucial for Baekhyun’s career and he can’t risk losing it all because his heart is too busy falling in love with Chanyeol over and over again. Chanyeol had promised him that he wouldn’t leave again, but Baekhyun thinks that this time, it might be him that’ll be doing the leaving. He would have to be the one to chose himself this time and the thought breaks his heart. 

\----

“I have to start figuring out moving back to my old place,” Baekhyun carefully mentions to Chanyeol as they watch some meaningless variety show.

“You’re moving out?” Chanyeol seems surprised. 

“Yeah, my old apartment is much closer to the rink. It’s more convenient.” Baekhyun explains. He’s treading deep water and hoping he won’t drown.

“That makes sense,” Chanyeol manages. Baekhyun can tell that he’s trying desperately to be rational and understanding. “Are you going to sell this place?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Baekhyun smiles. “Where else will you guys have your annoying study sessions. I’ll make you an extra key, you guys can hang in here whenever you want. Just don’t throw parties and break all my things.” 

“I would never,” Chanyeol chuckles. “Jongdae and Sehun, however, I don’t trust them one bit.”

“That better not be your excuse when I come back to a trashed apartment,” Baekhyun plays along.

“When you come back,” Chanyeol repeats.

“When I come back.” 

Chanyeol reaches out and squeezes Baekhyun’s hand. He shuts his eyes and tries to keep his tears at bay, refusing to let Chanyeol’s hand go.

\----

“You’re really going to do this,” Jongdae murmurs. 

“I have to, Jongdae, you know I do,” Baekhyun sighs. 

“It doesn’t make it any less sad.”

“Just make sure Chanyeol doesn’t disappear on you. I want to have something to come back to,” Baekhyun states plainly.

“I’m guessing you haven’t told him yet?” Jongdae mentions. “Your feelings.” 

“Honestly, I don’t think I even have to. We can figure out when I come back. For now, maybe some things are better left unsaid.” 

“Fair enough,” Jongdae agrees. 

“He’ll understand, right?” 

“He will.” Jongdae comforts him. “More than anyone else.”

\----

Baekhyun spends the next two weeks getting his life in order before he has to return to his rightful place. Chanyeol seems to understand what is coming, even though the words go unspoken. 

On the night before he leaves, Baekhyun sits next to Chanyeol in front of a movie that neither of them are really watching.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Baekhyun confirms. “I need you to know that.”

“I know,” Chanyeol breathes. “By the way, you’re doing a much better job at this than I did.” 

They laugh together, pulling closer to each other.

Baekhyun burns the moment into his memories. 

\----

“Agh.” Baekhyun pounds a fist into the ice, regretting it instantly as pain shoots up his arm.

“Calm down Baekhyun, you have to give it some time,” Donghae holds out a hand and pulls him back up. 

It’s been almost a month since he’s returned to the rink and Baekhyun sucks at skating. The lack of practice coupled with recovering from an injury leaves him tripping and falling at any chance he gets.

“I’m frustrated,” Baekhyun states the obvious. 

“I can see that.” Donghae pats Baekhyun on the back comfortingly. “Maybe you should go home for the day. Practicing more will drive you crazy.”

“You’re probably right,” Baekhyun sighs dejectedly. He bids his goodbyes to his team and makes his way to his car. 

He has a lonely night ahead of him, with just himself and his thoughts filling an empty apartment. Baekhyun almost gives in to his weak side by calling Chanyeol, but quickly gets rid of the thought and drives home. He should at least try to get some sleep. 

It takes about two months after that to get back to 90%. Everyday he comes to the rink and practices for hours, not stopping until he can’t feel his feet and his toes are bleeding. It pays off when Donghae even says he’s almost 2 months ahead of the schedule With his improvement and added time, Baekhyun should be able to come back just as strong as before. Maybe even stronger. 

He skates thoughts of Chanyeol away into oblivion and sooner or later he’s almost able to convince himself that the ice feels more like a home than Chanyeol does.

Almost. 

\----

“You’re taking a break for Christmas, end of story.” Donghae orders.

“But-”

“I said end of story,” Donghae repeats himself. “Now get out before I call security to drag you away.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun huffs and trudges out on his own. 

“You better not come back for the next three days. I’m putting your name on the banned list,” Donghae yells at his retreating figure. 

By the second day of his forced break, Baekhyun is about to lose his mind. He has nothing to do with his family on vacation and Jongdae, Jongin and Sehun on a ski trip. There was Chanyeol, but, that wasn’t really an option for him.

“Jongdae, I’m bored.” Baekhyun deadpans when the line picks up. After 4 hours of doing nothing, Baekhyun realizes that he doesn’t care if he’s interrupting their vacation or not.

“I can organize a CF shoot for you in under five minutes if you’re interested,” Zitao purrs into the phone. Baekhyun hears some commotion on the other end of the line until the phone is returned to Jongdae.

“Sorry man, what’s up?” Jongdae sounds sorry. He should be.

“Even my PR agent is on this vacation and I’m not,” Baekhyun cries. “You guys are literally the worst. Also in what right minded would a person take Zitao on a vacation.” 

“It’s just an excuse for them to have a lot of sex. Jongdae doesn’t even come skiing with us half the time,” Sehun quips into the phone. 

“Maybe it’s a better thing I’m not there…” Baekhyun decides. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the fact that one of his best friends is dating his PR agent. 

“It really is,” Jongdae replies. 

“Well I’ll leave you to it then, I guess. Have fun guys,” Baekhyun grins. Their happiness is contagious and this much will have to do for the time being. 

\----

He knew it was going to happen.

“This is a bad idea,” Baekhyun says to himself as he stands in the elevator of his old apartment building. He’s just checking up on his apartment, that’s all. He has no hopes to see Chanyeol, he tells himself.

The elevator doors open, revealing a familiar hallway. He walks up to it and digs for the key in his pocket. 

“What kind of business do you have on this side of town?” Chanyeol bemuses behind him. Baekhyun jumps a little at the sudden noise and whips around. 

  
  


“Just, you know, checking on the apartment,” Baekhyun explains. “Making sure you guys haven’t trashed it yet.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s in perfect condition. We only go in to use your massage chair anyways,” Chanyeol jokes. He steps a little closer, but thinks better of it and shuffles away. 

“No Christmas plans, I see? You didn’t go on the ski trip with them.” Baekhyun notes. 

“I had some hours at the hospital that I couldn’t miss, so I don’t have any plans.” Chanyeol pauses and looks at Baekhyun intently. “Unless…”

“Hmm?” 

“Come on one last adventure with me?” Chanyeol mumbles with a twinkle in his eye. 

Baekhyun has never been able to resist Chanyeol and this moment was no exception. He lets himself get dragged to the car and for old times sake he asks, “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, where  _ are _ we going?” Chanyeol counters, to which Baekhyun playfully whacks him in the arm. 

Before Baekhyun knows it, Chanyeol is pulling up to one of those gross coupley outdoor skating rinks. 

“No,” Baekhyun immediately refuses. “Why do you keep bringing me to all of these couple infested places.”

“Pleaseeeeeee?” Chanyeol prods. 

“Okay, okay,” he grumbles.

A few minutes later, they’re both laced into cheap skates and skating around a crowded rink like beginners. 

“I’m questioning my life right now, I think you should know,” Baekhyun doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Chanyeol stops and pulls Baekhyun aside. They linger in a corner of the rink and Baekhyun tries not to shiver from the cold. 

“I have something to tell you,” Chanyeol begins.

Baekhyun motions for him to go on, not knowing what to expect. 

“Don’t say anything until I’m done.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun agrees. He’s a little frightened because he hasn’t seen Chanyeol this serious in a while.

“You might think I’ve just been taking you to random places and calling them adventures, but the thing is, I’ve always had a plan,” Chanyeol elaborates. 

“Every place I’ve taken you until now has been somewhere I’ve gone in the last five years. Places that I’ve been and wished I had you next to me. This is the last place because I’ve always wished that I could catch up to you, but you’ve been skating away too fast and I can never seem to hold on to you.”

“You and I both know that we’re in love,” Chanyeol states, as if nothing could be more obvious. In a way, it isn’t. Baekhyun has known for a long time, but was always too afraid to say it out loud. “As much as our love is beautiful, it can’t be the reason you give up on your career. I know that, but it doesn’t stop this from hurting so much.” Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s hand and lays it on top of his chest. Baekhyun can feel the tears falling from his eyes. 

“We’re still best friends and we still have the chance of becoming more, but now is not the time.” Chanyeol presses on, his own tears matching Baekhyun’s.

“But it’s been bothering me for the last few months, ever since you left, that I hadn’t said this to you,” Chanyeol continues and Baekhyun can feel his heart shattering like glass. 

“I don’t know if I can get through the next however many years without saying this, so here I go,” Chanyeol pauses and takes a deep breath. “I love you, Baekhyun. Always have, always will.” 

Chanyeol bends down and kisses him on the forehead. Baekhyun is sobbing now, so the taller pulls him into a hug. 

“Shh, it’ll be over before you know it,” Chanyeol consoles. 

“I love you too,” Baekhyun blubbers into Chanyeol’s jacket.

“Can’t blame you, I’m pretty amazing,” Baekhyun laughs a little and punches him in the arm. He steps away, reluctantly letting go of Chanyeol’s hand.

“Until next time?” Baekhyun offers.

“Until next time.”

\----

Baekhyun pushes harder than he ever has for the next few months. He has no time to eat and sleep, much less think. Thinking and feeling becomes secondary to skating, and with the amount of time he spends skating, emotions don’t end up being much of a problem. Determination consumes him and he wasn’t going to back down until the Olympic gold medal was in his hands

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jongdae asks, concern plastered all over his face. He checks in on him from time to time, making sure that he hasn’t collapsed from overexertion. The two of them casually skate around the rink while Baekhyun is on a break.

“I am, actually,” Baekhyun confesses. “It might not seem like it, but yes, I am okay.” 

This is all Baekhyun can say to explain himself and for Jongdae, it’s enough. 

\----

Adrenaline rushes through his veins as Baekhyun skates to the center of the arena. He can hear the crowd cheering for him and a natural smile appears on his face. He calms himself down and gets into position. For the first time ever, he’s performing his Olympic routine for the public eye. This is the performance that critics and fans will re-watch thousands of times and pick apart to the bare bones. Firsts are always tough. Firsts mean mistakes, screw ups, and sometimes even regret. 

For the last 17 years of his life, Baekhyun has only skated up and up and up, higher than anyone has ever gone, but recently for the first time ever he finally experienced the delight of falling. Falling, Baekhyun thinks, is what makes the rise to the top even better. It’s something that he wants to re-live over and over again. 

As the first notes of Swan Lake reverberate through the arena, Baekhyun closes his eyes and feels himself fall. 

He’s ready to skate his heart out. 

  
  


**Epilogue**

Baekhyun walks through the airport sporting large shades and a hat, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. His name is all over every publication in sight. They all say some variation the same thing in big bold capital letters: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST BAEKHYUN RETIRES FROM THE SKATING WORLD.

The sight of the headlines makes Baekhyun feel a little lighter inside. It had taken him three years, but he had gotten what he wanted out of his career and much to the public's disappointment, it was time for him to pursue other dreams. Baekhyun was already working on purchasing a small rink of his own and he even has his eyes set on his first potential student: a young rookie skater named Taehyung.

As he steps out, he hails a cab. The address he recites slips off his tongue easily, but the cabbie waves him off, indicating that he’s not in service. Baekhyun is about to step out of the car, grumbling, when the driver turns around to survey his customer. After recognizing Baekhyun’s face, he agrees and drives off without hesitation. After all, no one in their right mind would pass up a chance to drive around South Korea’s skating king Byun Baekhyun. 

He’s heard quite a few random things about their friends from Jongdae, enough to know that the others were doing well. From what he knows, Sehun was so influenced by being around Zitao that he decided to go into PR himself. Jongin was working at some big entertainment company as a choreographer and had recently popped the question to Krystal. Their wedding was in a few months Jongdae told him that he would be skinned alive at the hands of the couple if he didn’t attend. Chanyeol, meanwhile, was working as a resident for a big hospital in Seoul and was on his way to becoming a successful ER specialist. 

  
  


By the time Baekhyun finally steps into his old apartment building, the sky has already turned dark. He goes up the familiar elevator and arrives at his front door, exhausted and ready to pass out on his fluffy bed. For a few seconds, as Baekhyun fishes around his pockets for his keys, Baekhyun hopes that Chanyeol will pop up behind him just like the last time. After a few seconds of waiting, Baekhyun sighs and goes inside. 

\----

“Um, Joonmyun, as much as I love that idea, it might be a little too…” Baekhyun searches for the right word. “Extreme?” 

His new rink manager takes it in stride. “Of course, Mr. Baekhyun, we can tone down the security a little, perhaps.”

“Just Baekhyun is fine,” Baekhyun reminds the other, voice laced with amusement. Working with Joonmyun definitely made his day more fun and he’s glad he made the decision to hire the man. 

At that moment, Zitao struts into the room. “Have you changed your mind about taking those endorsements, please say yes.”

“I have not,” Zitao’s face falls. “I actually called you here for a different reason. It could even work as a solution to your problem.”

“I’m losing my best selling celebrity, there is no way you can make this better.”

“I have a new candidate for you.” Baekhyun leads Zitao to the glass division between the rink and the viewing area. 

“Interesting,” Zitao murmurs.

“He’s a mini-me, you’ll have so much fun with him.” Baekhyun waits for Zitao’s reaction. 

“Oh god, not another one,” Zitao groans. “You’d think I would be able catch a break after dealing with you for eight years.”

“Taehyung’s got potential. With enough work, I have a feeling that we can turn him into South Korea’s skating prince,” Baekhyun muses. 

“Well good, because my paycheck has been seriously lacking ever since I dropped you from my roster,” Zitao sniffs. “You better give me, like, five of these skating princes to make up for it.”

“Oh, I will,” Baekhyun laughs. “Just you wait.”

Baekhyun spends most of his time at the rink, these days. He really loves teaching kids and the fact that he can pass his passion on to the future generation of legendary skaters is incredibly rewarding. Most of his focus has fallen to Taehyung, who calls Baekhyun ajusshi even though Baekhyun insists on being called coach. 

He still hasn’t run into Chanyeol around the apartment building. He knows for a fact that Chanyeol hasn’t moved, so it’s only a matter of time before they pick up where they left off. Baekhyun, oddly enough, is content with waiting a little longer. Chanyeol’s career is just getting off the ground and after three years, a few weeks doesn’t seem like anything at all.

\----

“It hurts. A lot,” Taehyung grits out.

“The ambulance is coming, don’t worry.” Baekhyun crouches next to the little boy. “Focus on your breathing, it will help. Trust me.”

Taehyung does as he’s told and before he knows it the EMT’s are swarming them, getting the boy to safety. As Baekhyun rides in the ambulance, he makes a note to himself to call Donghae and thank him. He finally understands what the man went through every time Baekhyun hurt himself on the ice. 

Taehyung gets put on an Emergency Room cot with promises of a resident coming to check up on them soon. 

“Patient Kim Taehyung?” a deep baritone voice resounds behind them. Baekhyun freezes.

“Yes?” Taehyung pipes up, relieved that someone was finally coming to see him. 

“And your guardian…” Chanyeol continues.

“Ajusshi, what are you doing?” Taehyung nudges him with his good arm. Baekhyun turns around.

“It’s coach you punk,” Baekhyun can’t help but scolding. “Chanyeol, how are you?”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol booms, obviously in shock. They stare at each other for a few more seconds before Taehyung clears his throat.

“I love watching people heatedly stare at each other as much as the next person does, but I think my arm is broken so could you guys please,” the boy sasses. 

Chanyeol turns a light shade of pink and begins to check on Taehyung’s arm. As he goes about his business, Baekhyun observes the taller man. Chanyeol is wearing scrubs, which was already sending Baekhyun’s heart into overdrive. His hair is cut shorter than the last time he saw him, making his adorable ears stuck out more. 

Most importantly, Chanyeol looks bright and happy as he talks to Taehyung. Baekhyun smiles with the satisfaction that while he was off making his own dreams come true Chanyeol was doing the same. 

“I’m going to have to set this and put a cast on it,” Chanyeol delivers the bad news. “You’ll be off the ice for two months Taehyung.”

“What about the tournament that’s coming up in a month,” Taehyung looks at Baekhyun. “I can’t be off for that long.” 

“Yes you can,” Baekhyun knows he has to be stern about this. If Taehyung is as much like himself as Baekhyun was thinking, it would be hard to keep him off the ice. “And you will. Anyways, you’ve been practicing non-stop for a month now. Breaks are good.” 

“That was a terrible pun,” Taehyung glowers. 

“Trust him,” Chanyeol adds. “He knows from experience.” Their eyes meet and the two of them share a knowing look. 

“So I’m assuming this ajusshi is Chanyeol?” Taehyung ponders as Chanyeol starts to wrap his arm up.

“Hey! I’m not an ajusshi,” Chanyeol protests. 

“Baekhyun is an ajusshi and you’re his boyfriend. That makes you an ajusshi.” Baekhyun catches the mirth in the boy’s eyes. 

“How did you even know that you little brat?” Baekhyun asks.

“Jongdae tells the best stories,” 

“Why isn’t Jongdae and ajusshi?” Chanyeol argues. “I don’t see how this is fair.” 

  
  


“Life isn’t fair, ,” Taehyung comments matter of factly as he gets up from the cot when Chanyeol finishes. “I’m assuming I’m free to leave now? I’ll wait in the lobby,  _ coach _ . Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Taehyung winks at them as he leaves the room. 

“I can’t decide whether I love him or think he’s a pain in the ass,” Chanyeol chuckles when he’s gone. 

“I’ve been trying to figure out the same thing for a month and I haven’t been able to,” Baekhyun sighs. “I have a feeling I never will.”

“So you’re back,” Chanyeol smiles. “I’m sorry, I haven’t been able to make it back home in a bit. Residency is a bitch, but don’t let anyone know I said that.”

“I was going to call, but it felt… wrong,” Baekhyun confesses. 

“I know what you mean. I thought the same thing,” Chanyeol agrees. The two of them hear his name being called from behind the curtain. “Well that’s me.”

Baekhyun smiles. “I’ll see you when you’re back home.” 

Chanyeol nods and turns to leave, but thinks better of it. Instead he pulls Baekhyun into a hug and whispers into his ear.

  
  


“I’m so glad to have you back. You have no idea Baek.” 

With that, Chanyeol disappears behind the curtain. 

Baekhyun is smiling like an idiot as he walks out of the hospital. 

\----

“One more month and I’ll have him back for semi-good,” Baekhyun shares, taking a sip of his vanilla iced coffee. “Damn, this is amazing.”

“It’s the new barista, Minseok. He’s doing wonders for business,” Jongdae gushes. He too achieved his dream of starting his own business. He recently set up a successful cafe in Myeongdong and it’s been doing rather well.

“What’s with that other guy though, he’s scary,” Baekhyun refers to the tall stoic man at the counter.

“Oh, Kris?” Jongdae clarifies. “He seems like that, but once you get to know the guy, he’s such a joke.” 

“Interesting,” Baekhyun moves on. “So how’s Zitao? Have you lost your mind living with him yet?”

“Oddly enough, I haven’t yet,” Jongdae replies. “I don’t know whether to be complacent or very afraid about it, so I’m settling for a little bit of both at the moment.”

Baekhyun laughs, it’s been almost four years and he still can’t get over the fact that the two of them are dating. As weird as it is for him to watch, the two of them work in their own way. As long as they’re both happy, he has no complaints. 

“One more month, though,” Jongdae repeats. “We’ll finally have the two of you back for real. After three years.” 

“It took us long enough,” Baekhyun jokes. 

“It really did.”

\----

Baekhyun’s phone buzzes on the sink top and he groans in frustration.

“Whatever, I’ll get it later,” he says to himself as he sinks further into his glorious bubble bath. Thirty minutes later, he steps out and wraps himself in a plush bathrobe. He takes his time getting dressed and by the time he finally walks into the kitchen to start making dinner it’s at least another hour later. 

“Feel free to take another hour in the bath,” Chanyeol’s voice resonates from the living room, making Baekhyun drop the pan he’s holding in his hand. Chanyeol appears in the kitchen with a grin on his face.

“What the hell, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun shouts in alarm. 

  
  


“I finally came home and knocked a bunch of times but you didn’t answer the door or your phone so I was going to use the spare key, but when did you change the security system to a padlock? That confused me-.” Chanyeol rambles.

“How did you get in?” Baekhyun asks stupidly. He really shouldn’t have.

Chanyeol smirks. “I thought I’d try my hand at guessing the code. My birthday, Baekhyun? That’s not creative at all. I got it on the first try.” 

“Only you would be narcissistic enough to try your own birthday first,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Chanyeol comes closer and wraps his arms around Baekhyun and the latter melts into the touch. Their miniature cuddle session is interrupted by Baekhyun’s stomach growling loudly. 

“Let’s cook something before your stomach gets louder,” Chanyeol laughs.

“Good plan.” 

\----

It takes about three months for the two of them to realize that their living arrangement wasn’t going to work at all. There was no longer a point in having separate places when the two of them were always together, so Chanyeol was working on selling his place so he could move into Baekhyun’s for good. Even though it was just next door, getting all of the stuff out of the taller man’s apartment made a mess.

“There are boxes  _ everywhere _ ,” Baekhyun whines. “Chanyeol we have to clean this up.” 

Two arms snake around his waist and he feels butterfly kisses being pressed along his jaw. “Chanyeol, seriously, we’re going to trip over something and die one of these days.”

“In twenty minutes,” Chanyeol whispers, his mouth getting closer and closer to Baekhyun’s. “That’s all it should take.” 

“Is that a challenge?” Baekhyun plays along. 

“It might be,” Chanyeol spins Baekhyun around and licks into his mouth. Baekhyun jumps up and wraps his legs around Chanyeol’s waist. 

“Fuck,” Chanyeol curses as he trips over a box in a hurry to get to their bedroom.

“I told you so,” Baekhyun breaks down in a fit of laughter. 

“Shut up, Baek. You’re ruining the mood,” Chanyeol moves on from his mouth to his neck and Baekhyun’s laughter turns into something much less innocent. 

“I love you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol pulls away for a few seconds and stares into Baekhyun’s eyes intently.

“Of course you do,” he whispers back with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Baekhyun punches him in the stomach, breaking down in a fit of giggles again. 

This, Baekhyun decides, is more than enough for him. 

\----

Baekhyun lies on the couch, head pillowed in Chanyeol’s lap. It’s a Saturday evening and for once, neither of them have work to do, so they decide to watch a movie. 

“Hey, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun says.

“Hmm?” Chanyeol looks down.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun replies. Chanyeol’s eyes cloud with confusion. “I’ve only had three dreams in my life. The first was to have a successful career. The second was to open a skating school,” Baekhyun pauses.

“And the third?” Chanyeol asks.

“The third was you.” 

“That’s really cheesy,” Chanyeol teases, stroking his hair affectionately. 

“I really can never win with you, can I,” Baekhyun gives up, smiling. 

“You’re a lucky guy, Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol continues. “But I’m luckier.” 

“Are you, now?”

“Most definitely.” 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please comment and share! <3


End file.
